Monthly Archives: September 2014

We need a feminist re-brand and collective smack upside the head

(this was written very quickly – albeit after I calmed down because this has me very agitated – and I will probably come back to revisit grammar and spelling and rhetoric, but I felt compelled to post it, imperfect as it may be)

“Iceland Announces men-only UN conference on women, gender equality”

When I posted this on my Facebook page I did so because I thought this was wonderful news.

Men wanting to talk about gender equality is, to me, a clear sign of commitment to seeing gender as an issue that transcends male and female. It is, after all, a human rights issue, which it makes it an issue whether there is a woman in the room or not.

However, gender equality effects men and women differently. And, it DOES effect men. Sadly, many men are not aware that it does. Societies that are more equal are not only coincidentally also more stable and wealthier. Countries that have lower rates of violence against women have over all lower rates of violence.

Perhaps if men in positions of influence sit together and talk they can share how it effects men and come to understand why it is so important for men to work toward constructive change in the way that gender is dealt with in our societies. They can discuss how dimorphic gender roles harm men as much as they harm women. The best person to demonstrate that fact to a man is another man.

When I saw this article I was encouraged that these men wanted to band together and talk about how they can be my ally, and about how they can walk beside me in a way that only a man can – and let’s be clear AGAIN, men and women will be addressing the issue from different vantage points.

I was glad to see the battle for equality will be fought on two fronts. I was glad that these men were going to gather and talk about how, in their male relationships, they can work toward the same goal I am working toward. We need men to model positive male behavior to other men.

I want them to meet. I want them to talk. It is wrong to not allow them the space to do that.

No one has any logical reason or moral right to object to or  to be offended by or to mock manhood’s sincere attempt from a uniquely male perspective to come to terms with an issue they are expected to help solve.

This is why my boys roll their eyes when they hear the word feminist. Because they are being told they must join a group for women, driven by women on women’s terms. It doesn’t accommodate their maleness. Feminism isn’t just for women and a man cannot experience it on a woman’s terms. It’s for humanity, and men must come to understand it on their own terms before we can have equality.

We need a feminist re-brand because the ideology has gotten off course, steered by people who are NOT thinking critically before they react and collectively all need a smack upside the head.

Pedant phone etiquette

A few months ago I chose to ignore a phone call and one of my step sons sucked in his breath aghast, and declared that his mother says that not answering the phone is RUDE.

Firstly, that speaks volumes about the difference between his mother and me.

Secondly, I would like to address what is rude.

You know what is actually rude? Being so full of yourself that you believe that any other person owes you so much that they are required to drop whatever they are doing whenever you choose a time for them to do so to pay immediate attention to you.

You don’t get to decide when I am available. You don’t get to judge my choices either. No one else gets to decide for anyone else what is and what is not a priority – ever. I am fully allowed to choose not to engage in conversation with you because I just don’t feel like it. Full stop.

I will quite frequently choose to not answer the phone.

I loathe the phone. So those of you out there who have actually had telephone conversations with me should right now be feeling pretty darned special. I don’t answer the phone for just anyone. As far as I am concerned, text messaging is a gift from God.

Before you telephone-attention-demanding extroverts out there object on the grounds that I need to keep my social skills sharp, let me also say that I do not avoid the phone because I don’t want to communicate or connect with other people. I am quite probably the most gregarious misanthrope you will ever meet. But I am gregarious at my own convenience, and conveniently misanthropic always. Always.

If it is imperative that you to speak with me, let’s set up a mutually convenient time and I will meet you for coffee or for a beer. We can go to the theatre, wander through the farmers market or have dinner. Then you don’t only get to speak with me, you also get to see my smiling face. Much better, no?

I just really, really, really, really don’t want to talk to your disembodied voice on demand.

At the tone, please leave a message.

Our mission, here at Planned Pedanthood

Pedant. The word has a negative connotation on the outside. And by outside, I mean among people who have never bothered to master communication or critical thinking. The word seems to have gained a connotation of snobbery. Let’s begin with that, shall we?

Pull back the curtain and …. Darcy’s BLOG

Here at Planned Pedanthood I believe it is important to dispel some of that negativity with an illumination of the benefits of pedantry, the exquisite beauty of sententious communications and the laconic aphorism.

Planned Pedanthood stands for the fundamental right of each individual throughout the world to master his or her communication, regardless of the individual’s income, family background, access to formal education, proximity to public libraries or personal flair for the dramatic. We believe that respect and value for message delivery in all aspects of life are essential to society’s well-being.

Based on this belief, and reflecting on the community I live in, my mission for Planned Pedanthood is:

  • To provide complementary eloquent, flippant and sagacious commentary in this blog setting, to preserve and protect my personal and public sanity in an insane world
  • To advocate for public advancement in the areas of communication
  • To guarantee the basic human right to not be forced to endure fatuousness
  • To provide an outlet for my individual pedantic tendencies lest my education be earned in vain
  • To promote language and the advancement of elucidatory discourse with an emphasis on the use of social media, and to encourage understanding of the ethical, behavioral and social implications of bad communication

I look forward to future opportunities to blog my frustrations and concerns, and to bring to light shining examples of true eloquence where I find them.